Bunnucula Part 1 (Long Read Warning)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing, Graphics, Movies, etc.' started by PhoenixDog, Jun 20, 2009.

  1. PhoenixDog
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    I've been pretty busy lately what with planning on moving, work, and Halo. But I've begun work on my short story once again, and would like to publish the first little bit of the story for everyone. I'm curious to see what XoO's reactions are. Please ignore the formatting...The forums don't allow for C&P very well.




    Bunnucula

    It all started one grim Saturday afternoon. I was a young optimistic brown dacshound sitting idly by watching TV with my close friend and housemate, Kevin. I was about 3 years old at the time, although I was still quite short and small for my age. I had jet black, beady eyes and a white patch of fur at the end of my long brown energetic tail. Kevin was a run of the mill orange tabby, and only barely smaller than I was. He was small, cute and purred like idling engine. However, Kevin was always bored. I think he might have had a case of A.D.D, but he never got tested. No matter what he was doing, no matter the situation; Kevin wanted to do something else.
    "Fred, I'm bored", Kevin cried, slouched over the back of the couch next to me, "Let's do something else".
    We lived together in a large 2-story house that was issued to us by the Canadian Government. Something about Floppy and bad eggs at a restaurant in Ottawa...Something like that. I never really knew the whole story, and frankly never really cared to find out. I loved the house and I never asked too many questions regarding how we acquired it. That actually reminds me. There were two other friends that lived with Kevin and I in the house. The aformentioned Floppy was a large 6 year old black Labrador. He was big and tough but as the stereotype usually suggests, he was kind of an idiot. I mean, those eggs he ate were green. Who eats green eggs? Anyway, the final housemate was Rover. He was a pretty unique one himself as Rover was a red golden Retriever. He had some weird pigmentation disorder upon birth which caused his fur to be discoloured.

    "It's Saturday, Kevin. What else is there to do?" I replied, my eyes not once leaving the TV screen. I was about to open my mouth to say something else when I was inturrupted by a scream outside.
    "BUNNY!" the voice yelled.
    Kevin and I looked at each other and knew it was Floppy.
    "Well I guess that solves our 'what to do' problem, now doesn't it", remarked Kevin, in a seemingly cocky tone.
    We jumped out of our seats and ran out the front door. When we got outside onto the front steps, we saw Floppy on the grass. In his paws was a small white rabbit. Floppy was never one for the cute and cuddly kind of thing, but this seemed different for some reason. He was captvated by this little bunny, and you could see it in his eyes.
    "Hey Floppy, where did this thing come from?" I asked, stepping down from the stoop.
    "Over there", replied the Labrador, pointing to our neighbour's house which belonged to Rufus.
    Rufus was a very quiet neighbour. We didn't know much about him as he was one to primarily keep to himself. Regardless of that, we did see him from time to time and he was always a nice guy. Rufus was a medium sized, young white Terrier. Don't ask me to measure 'medium sized', that's just the best way to describe it. For a Terrier, he had a pretty long snout, kind of like a horse but not really. He also had a brown patch of fur on both his short tail, and his righ ear.
    "Is this Rufus' rabbit, Floppy?" I asked, kneeling down beside Floppy and the white ball of cute.
    Floppy continued to play with the rabbit like a beach ball, tossing it in the air and catching it. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he was going to eat it when he was done with it by how he handled the bunny.
    "Doubtful, Fred", replied Kevin, making up for Floppy's silence, "Rufus was never really one to want pets. Why would he start now? And even moreso, why a rabbit?"
    "Who knows", I remarked, "But Floppy said it came from his place. Maybe it's a stray playing around in his bushes".
    I think Kevin was going to reply, but we noticed Floppy was gone. Mindlessly ignoring the conversation between Kevin and I, and probably ignoring the fact all together that this rabbit could belong to Rufus, Floppy was already heading inside, along with the rabbit nesseled softly between his teeth.

    After we all got back inside, we found Floppy upstairs in his room. He must have been excited, because by the time we got there the rabbit was already inside a cage on his floor. Where he got the cage was beyond me, but this seemed like a situation where not asking was probably the better judgement call. Floppy was sitting in front of the cage, staring at the rabbit. What stroke me as odd was his gaze. It was almost as if Floppy was hypnotized. He was sitting on his ass, hind legs straight out in front of him and his back was slouched forward.
    "Is everything alright Floppy?" I asked, peeking into the door from the hallway.
    Kevin had followed me back into the house, but hadn't come upstairs with me. I guess he went back to watching TV.
    "Yeah, I'm fine!" barked Floppy, turning to look at me very violently. I thought I even heard a pop when he turned so fast. After he finished snapping at me, he turned back and began staring at the rabbit again.
    "Floppy...What's going on?" I asked hesitently. I knew something was wrong. Floppy never snapped like that, especially at me.
    "Yes!" he snapped, whipping around to face me again, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get this thing food".
    Floppy hastily stood up, gave the cage a small kick, and stormed past me and down the hallway. He seemed to rush down the stairs, and shortly after I heard the door slam. Something was wrong. Floppy was always rough around the edges, but to go from being all happy and playful with this rabbit and in one of the best moods I've ever seen him to snapping and storming out was new. I tried to forget about it and just talk to him when he got home. I reached into Floppy's room to turn off the light. When I did, I heard a strange noise coming from the floor. I looked down at the small metal box to see the rabbit sitting in one of the corners chewing on the cage.. I could see that its teeth were abnormally long, and seemed pointed at the end. I bent down near the door of the cage. It felt like one of those "don't go in there" moments from a horror movies, but I needed to take a closer look. I leaned in towards the cage. The rabbit suddenly jumped to the back of the cage lightning fast. The rabbit jumping back scared the shit out of me, and I fell back. It slammed into the metal bars with a loud clank. It began to hiss violently, saliva spraying from it's mouth and dripping from the side of its lips. Its eyes reflected the light from the ceiling at me like a mirror - almost glowing. I stood up. This wasn't a regular rabbit by any means, and might have been the cause of Floppy's shift toward sudden aggression. I turned and began to walk towards the door. I reached over and flicked off the light switch. Just before I left the room, I turned back for one last look at the rabbit. Because Floppy had his blinds closed, the room was very dark despite being in the middle of the afternoon. The room was covered in darkness except for two small red dots. The rabbit's eyes were glowing in the darkness, staring back at me.
    "Alright...This is fucked up", I said to myself as I quickly shut the door and scurried downstairs. I wanted to wait for Floppy to get home and talk to him about his 'rabbit' he acquired.

    After an agonizing several minutes attempting to describe that I had recently witnessed the possibility of an evil aparition manifested into a cute fluffy white rabbit upstairs to Kevin, I should have accpected the response I got from the young tabby.
    "What in the holy fuck are you talking about, Fred!?" he blurted between snickers of laugher, "seriously dude, where's your dealer? I want some crack too".
    "Shut it, cat!" I barked, giving him a slight shove, "if you don't believe me, come with me. I'll fucking show you!" I was pretty pissed off at Kevin's attitude to the situation. I knew what I saw; that I know without a doubt.
    I led the way up the stairs and down the hallway to Floppy's room. When we got to the door, I slowly turned the knob and cracked the door. I peeked through the small crack to see nothing. Blackness still engulfed the room, save for the slight shards of light coming from the edges of the blinds. I opened the door the rest of the way. No glowing red eyes, no creepy sounding metal chewing, nothing. I could feel my heart sink momentarily. 'What if the rabbit got out?' I thought to myself. I slowly reached into the room and turned the light on. I flicked the switch and the room lit up like the sun. I looked down on the floor where the cage sat. In the middle of the cage sat the small fluffy ball of melevolent evil, snacking on what looked to be several slices of lunchmeat.
    "Well Fred?" questioned Kevin, standing behind me in the doorway.
    "I fucking swear dude, this thing was crazy" I replied, with what had to be a picture perfect look of confusion on my face, "he was freaking out, hissing at me, long pointed teeth and everything".
    Then a thought entered my mind. I was up here only minutes ago. How did this rabbit go about acquiring its lunchmeat? Floppy left to get food 20 minutes ago, to obviously the fluff ball needed it. Not to mention the fact that...when was the last time a rabbit eat lunchmeat? Neither of these questions, and probably an assortment of others I had had an answer, but I wanted one.
    "Kevin, I got to ask you something" I called as I turned to speak with the young cat, so see nothing but the doorway behind me. Laughter could be heard downstairs. He already gave up on the situation; stupid cat.
    I reluctently shut off the light to Floppy's room, and once again covered the room in a blanket of darkness. I exited the room and closed the door behind me. As the door closed, I could hear a hiss from back in the room, followed by the distinct sound of the chewing of metal I heard earlier. I looked back at the closed door, and noticed something from the corner of my eye. I looked down at the base of the door and saw a red glow emenating from the crack. I closed my eyes, shook my head, and reopened my eyes. The glow was gone. Was I really going crazy? I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and went back downstairs. It was going on 2pm, so it was time to make some lunch.

    "Hey Kevin!" I called from the kitchen to the living room through two walls, "What do you want to eat?"
    "Sammich!" he cried back in such a convoluted tone that if I didn't know any better, I would have had no idea what he said.
    I pieced together the usual sandwich routine. Bread, sauce, cheese and lettuce all present and accounted for. All I needed was the lunch meat. I turned to the fridge and opened the door. I reached down into the bottom drawer of the fridge and grabbed the only packet of lunch meat left. I tore open the unopened package and placed several slices on each of our sandwiches. I tossed the package back into the drawer, closed the door, and topped off the sandwich with the final slice of bread. I grabbed both plates and strode off into the living room to join Kevin. I sat down in my chair, and tossed Kevin's plate in front of him on the table; making it obvious that I didn't appreciate his previous attitude.
    "Problem?" he asks, looking down at the now toppled sandwich in front of him, then up at me. With a question like that, I really didn't feel like giving him a response, but couldn't resist a chance to yell at Kevin.
    "A problem? Of course there is a problem," I barked, "you're just too stupid to realize. I think there's a serious issue on our hands with this rabbit, and you just mock me the whole time!"
    "What do you expect, Fred," he replied, flipping the lid off his sandwich and peeking around at what I put on, "An evil rabbit bent on world domination? Kind of an easy thing to make fun of don't you think?"
    I suppose he had a point. I know what I saw, but even I questioned that. I mean, what are the odds of having an evil blood thirsty rabbit sitting upstairs.
    "Uh, Fred?" questioned Kevin, still looking down at the sandwich, "Was this lunch meat package already opened when you used it?"
    "No, it was new" I replied, confused as to why he would even care about that.
    Kevin looked up at me with an almost look of fear to him, "Wasn't the rabbit eating lunch meat as well?"
    I now looked down at my own sandwich. I think I understood what Kevin was insinuating. If this lunch meat from the package was unopened, how did the rabbit get his?
    Kevin and I looked at each other and locked eyes. I think he was finally getting what I was talking about before. We jumped from our seats and raced upstairs. I hastily opened the door and flicked the light on. Instantly we noticed an irregularity with the cage. One of the sides was chewed open and a hole was present - the rabbit was not. Left in the cage were small pieces of the meat the rabbit was snacking on earlier. I remained in the doorframe of the room as Kevin walked around me. He knelt before the cage and reached into the hole left behind; removing a piece of meat from the floor of the cell. He looked up at me.
    "Fred," Kevin began, picking a piece of hair out of the meat, "I don't think this is lunch meat".
    I finally entered the rest of the room, and knelt down next to the Tabby. He handed me the thick pink slab of meat and I inspected it as well. It felt oddly textured, unlike any form of meat I've felt before. However, after handling it enough it felt strangely familiar. I noticed small hairs plugged into the pink meat. Very short, no more than a couple millimeters. I could not place my finger on the texture of it, of the thickness and feeling. I plucked several hairs from the meat and felt them. They felt coarse and thick, like they belonged to the fur of a creature. Failing to affiliate the meat with anything in my current memory, I put the meat back down, placed my paw on Kevin's back and pushed myself onto my feet. That is when it hit me. I rubbed Kevin's fur with my paw, and squeezed him.
    "Hey!" he cried, swatting my paw form his back, "What was that for?"
    I looked down at where I just pinched, then looked over at the slab of meat. That is when it all became clear. What I was just holding wasn't lunch meat - It was dog. A slab of canine skin sat laying on Floppy's bedroom floor.
    "Kevin..." I stuttered, "This...This is fucking dog. This came from a fucking dog!"
    The fear in my voice was apparent. I couldn't speak without repeating myself, or having a shaking in my words. Kevin's eyes opened wide like he had seen a ghost. And I guess in some hypothetical way he did. He was after all sitting next to a piece of his roommates species. Kevin shot up onto his feet and immediately backed away from the cage.
    "Who...What...Where..." he muttered, tripping over his own words much like I had done, "Where did this...Or better who did this come from?"
    I wasn't sure if he was just randomly asking the air around us, or if it was directed to me. Regardless of the direction of the question, I didn't know the answer. I just wanted to get out of the room, get away from what was laying on the floor. So I did. I turned and raced out of the room and back down the stairs. Kevin was quickly and closely behind. We got down into the living room, and I just collapsed onto the couch. I closed my eyes and put my paws over my eyes and just thought. Thought about a piece of dog laying in my house, thought about who it could have belonged to, thought about how it even got there. The fur was what stood out in my mind. It reminded me of someone I know, someone we all know. Short, coarse and white. Who did I know that had short, coarse, white fur?
    "Rufus!" I screamed, sitting up violently. My scream caused Kevin to jump in the chair he was sitting.
    "What?" Kevin questioned, looking back at me in shock, "What are you talking about, what about Rufus?"
    "The fur! The fur is from him!" I said, still shaking my words, "I think the meat is from him!"
    I don't think Kevin knew what to think, what to say. He just stared at me like I was crazy. The look in his eyes, how wide they were screamed 'you're nuts'. But I think he believed me, or at least wanted to believe me. After all, we found Floppy playing with the rabbit on the West end of the house, where Rufus' house is. Floppy also did mention that the rabbit came from his place.
    "We need to check on Rufus", I ordered.
    Kevin nodded and we both got up. He went around the room and I hopped the couch. We met at the front door and I violently opened it. On the other side stood Rover and Floppy. Rover just got home from work and Floppy must have met up with him from shopping. I ran out past them, and Kevin followed behind me. On the way by, Kevin quickly told them what we thought was going on, and they were quickly in hot pursuit of us. The four of us raced across the lawn to Rufus' place. I got to the front door first and stopped. The door was open, just a little bit. I slowly pushed the door open, and the looked into the darkness within. Kevin, Floppy and Rover finally caught up to me. Before entering the darkness, Floppy grabbed my arm.
    "Fred", he said with a sort of apologetic tone to his voice, "I'm sorry I brought all this upon us".
    I just nodded but didn't say a word. He had nothing to apologize for. How was he supposed to know what the rabbit was. It was just a rabbit. However we had nothing to go on - Just assumptions. I finally walked into the black entrance-way with my roommates in tow.
    The four of us filed into the room. It was eerily dark, as if the room had no windows.
    "What the fuck!?" cried Rover, jumping back from where he was previously standing.
    I slowly made my way through the darkness to where Rover was. I then stepped into something, probably what caused his surprise. A small puddle sat on the floor, but it was too dark to tell what it was. Could have just been water, but it could have been something else. It was cold to the touch, like ice. Suddenly the lights came on into the room, and quickly blew out seconds later. I looked up and saw Kevin over beside the wall, flicking the switch on and off hoping for something to happen. But nothing did. We decided to continue our search through the house, so we made our way towards the kitchen.
    When we got there, the room was slightly brighter to see. I stepped into another puddle on the tile floor. This time there was enough light to inspect the pool of liquid. I dabbed my paw into it and brought it closer to my face. It was thick, thicker than water. It was also a darker colour than water was. Blood? Could it really be what I think it was? Kevin once again found the light switch and turned it on. The room was basked in light. I stood up and saw what I didn't want to see. The puddles trailed from the living room to the kitchen where we stood. Each pool was small, and in the form of what looked to be a paw print. It was smaller than a dog's though, so it couldn't have been Rufus. What struck me as odd though was the direction the trail led. In front of the four of us was a closed cellar door. The prints led from the door to the main entrance where we all came in from. At the base of the door was a large pool of the red liquid. I reluctantly reached for the door handle to the cellar and turned it to a click. Locked. I believe that is when emotion hit Floppy. I don't know if it was fear, anxiety, or if he was taking the blame for this, but he stepped forward and booted the door with such a violent force he blew the door off its hinges. The wooden door tumbled down into the darkness, and bounced down the stairs. The door disappeared into the abyss below and ended with a crash. Looking down, we couldn't see what awaited us, but we could see a trail of blood lead down the steps. The blood seemed to hug the left side of the stairs, so if we were going to investigate what was down there, we would need to follow the right. I looked back at the three standing behind me, and we all locked eyes. We knew what had to be done, we just knew we didn't want to do it. I took a deep breath and stepped down onto the first step.
    I began to work my way down the stairs, step by step keeping to the right side. Kevin, Rover and Floppy followed behind me respectively. The further down I got, the darker it was and the harder it became to see. After about ten to fifteen steps, I finally reached the bottom of the stairway. I stepped down to what I thought was the basement floor, but it wasn't the floor I stepped into. Cold thick liquid went up to my ankle. I knew exactly what it was. I was so terrified I could move; completely petrified. It was so dark in the basement Kevin didn't realize I stopped and he walked right into me, knocking me down. I fell to the ground and landed flat onto my face into even more thick wet crap. I landed on the door that Floppy kicked down. I rolled over onto my back and looked back up the stairs at the three figures in front of me.
    "Fuck sakes, someone get a light!" I screamed, frustrated I was laying in what I didn't want to be laying in.
    "I think I found it, Fred", exclaimed Floppy, flipping on the light.
    The basement was flooded with light. It was an absolute horror scene. The entire basement was covered in blood. Dripping from the walls and the ceiling, and filling the floor with it. There must have been at least a couple of inches of blood that filled the basement floor, way more than any single creature could hold. The door I laid on however struck me as odd...As if a basement looking like a faucet of blood was left on didn't. I wasn't laying flat on top of it, it was on an angle, like it was laying on something. I slowly stood up and off the door. The three roommates stayed standing on the stairs, not willing to come any further into the basement. Covered in blood, having it all matted thick into my fur, I reached down and pulled the door off the object underneath it. The four of us never expected what we would see laying in the large pool of blood.
    There lay the body of Rufus, mangled and disoriented. His skin almost entirely gone, all that was exposed to the air was muscle and bone. It seemed as if his skin was torn from his body with a violent force. His arms were twisted and broken, and his legs were much the same. It almost seemed as if every one was broken and snapped in some way. His skull laid almost detached from the body, almost nothing left to it but the bone itself. A portion of it looked as if it was peeled back like a can. At the point in which it was peeled, two tiny half-circle holes could be seen. On top of all this, several sections of the body seemed to be missing, removed from the body, as if it was ripped from the frame. It was a horrifying sight for any of us to process. We all turned and bolted up the stairs, trying to just get away from what we all just witnessed. We retreated back to the living room, where Rover promptly threw up onto the carpet. None of us could blame him given what we all saw seconds ago. Floppy collapsed into a heap onto the floor and began to cry. I was still covered in blood; whether it was all Rufus’ or not was yet to be determined, but I just wanted to get cleaned up. Kevin escorted me upstairs to the bathroom to get washed up.
     
  2. The Cox
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    You do realize that bunnucula was a book already done back in the early 90s right? About a vampire bunny...
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2009
  3. PhoenixDog
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    No, that was bunnIcula. And it's a children's story. Obviously I got the name off that...I started this story's IP back in Grade 4. I'll be changing this story's name later...Finishing it is more of a priority.

    And I'm looking for feedback on the story. Thanks.
     
  4. The Cox
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    I read it bro, and it sounds exactly like the same story.. but obviously not meant for kids..

    It was a good story, just it's one that's already been done. IMO it sounds too similar to the original even though one is for children, and this one is not..

    Not trying to bust your balls bro, just saying...
     
  5. PhoenixDog
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    I've....Never read the "Original".
     
  6. The Cox
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    yeah, that's why I said it was so similar. It has a book about a vampire bunny and shit.. Of course it's a childs book which is why I said it's similar. =D
     
  7. PhoenixDog
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    You said it sounds exactly the same. How is my story the same as the children's book? That's like saying Halo and Star Wars are exactly the same because they both take place in space.
     
  8. The Cox
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    whoa hold up pdog, im not saying that I hate the story, I'm just saying that there is a story out there that is SIMILAR to yours.

    They both have the same similar name, but one letter difference or so. Second, in the children's book there is a vampire bunny. Same in your story. That's all I'm saying bro.
     
  9. Neptuno
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    he's saying its more like Star Wars and Spaceballs kind of similar but without one being a spoof of the other, just very similar themes and characters
     
  10. Zarash
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  11. safiria
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    zarash that site was pretty good lol